Wow.. After a long break

Wow.. i had a real long break since i last blog..

After my precious doggy passed away, i have not blog anymore.. tat was like 3yrs back.. and i did not feel like i wanted to share stuff and few things happen which make mi feel even more on my own..

I kept to myself away from my friends, kept feelings to myself, needed lots of space and think wat i wan from my friends.. so i went out wif my other friends, hang out wif new ppl, or stay home n spend time wif family.. hehe..

And a mircule happen, dunno when cupid stikes and i found myself a boyfriend.. haha.. wow.. thru the most dangerous method.. hehe..

I dunno wat kind of a relationship we have.. sometimes we are total strangers yet we can be the best lovers at times.. hmmm.. complicated rite.. i am still trying to figure out wat kind of love we have.. Issit love n hate, Strangers n lovers, or wat...

Sometimes when it gets too tired to hold on, i feels like giving up totally.. like juz 1 step n kaboom.. its all over.. but always juz before i take tat final step.. he is there to pull mi back.. bringing me back to his arms..

i dun ask him for promises cos i noe they will never come true, i dun wan to be to independent on him cos i noe he will not be the first one there when i need him due to work.. i am juz a veri easily contented woman tat wans him to love mi, care abt mi and sometimes have mie on his mind.. tats all.. but maybe the easiest things are always the hardest to do.. he can forget abt mi the moment he works.. dun even rem i am his gf.. n tat hurts..

gals always hope tat their bf will wan to spend all of their time wif her.. even for a quickie.. at least she is on his mind.. but for him, unless i make lots of noise otherwise he will go home m replenish his sleep.. haiz.. it always hurts mi when he does tat.. n he doesnt even humour mi at all.. not even sweettoke.. haiz.. he is so straight tat he doesnt even bother lying to u.. it is good in some ways, but bad in others..

i can understand all his actions when i am feel sane.. but when my emotions juz burst out.. all the reasons disappear and the onli reason left is he dun love mi anymore, doesnt wan mi anymore.. and tat is when i total collasped.. cant hold on anymore.. haiz..

guys a such trouble makers but they are oso indispenable.. haiz.. ironic rite.. haha..

Tats so much for today..

Thanks Darlings....

Thanks darling, sweetie and all my love ones.. I have received lots of consoling msgs.. and i oso noe that i have to learn to let it go but time is needed.. maybe time will not help heal mi tat fast.. But dun worry, i will be fine...

Its not easy getting over departure from ppl or pets that you have spend a long period of time wif.. they are already part of the family.. if anything happen to them, your heart will wrench and emotions will start stirring... so dun wait till no time is left before u show ur love.. do it everyday, every hour, every minute and every seconds.. you never noe when they will leave u...

I really thank you guys for the love and concern you have shown CODY all these years.. I believe that he is doing pretty well at the other side.. and i oso noe that he will always be in our hearts... I noe it hard consoling someone that juz lost something precious and close to their hearts.. i really appreciate the concern i get from you.. altho not much is discuss.. its all in the heart...

Thanks sweetie for the little rabbit and oso help mi thank Ah boy for being so totful when getting the gift..

Goodbye Precious Cody

TOday 3rd March 2007 marks the end of my life wif cody... My mom decided to put him to sleep.. We toke to the ppl at the hospital and there is no change in his condition, need to force him to take medication and food.. and he is super weak..

When my mom told mi last nite, its veri hard to accept tat tis is going to happen.. although you noe he is suffering and its a relief for him.. its hard to let him go.. since he is sick, i have been crying myself to sleep everynite so last nite too...

Mi & Mom got to the hospital, in the morn to c him before putting him to sleep.. he was on drip and he looks soooooo weak... u look at him, there is no more sparkle in his eyes.. the ppl there says he has lost his orientation but when he saw us .. he wants us to carry him.. he wants to get up but too weak, keep fallling down.. look at him will really sadden your heart..my mom carried him for awhile.. i believe tat he noes wat we are going to do.. can c the sadness in his eyes.. unwillingness to leave us, like us but no choice.. they told us tat the have to force him to eat, drink and take medicine.. he ditry himself when peeing and pooing.. they juz shower him.. its going to be tough taking care of him when he comes home.. it may take years for him to recover.. during tis time, he needs alot of care , concern and love from u.. and need alot of time to take care of him.. i noe tat its the rite decision but it hard to live wifout him in my life..

The time has come, the doc came in and give him a jab and he slowly goes into a deep sleep.. his heartbeat no longer beats.. it onli took 2 mins i think.. veri quick, maybe cos he is sick so faster.. the next moment, he is gone.. my cody is gone... we were wwif him till his body temp decreases... he went in peace.. Mi & mom has been crying till our eyes are swollen... its really hard letting him go..

he's been wif us for 9 years.. since he was 3 months, a little puppy til nw.. a old man.. time flies veri fast... from training him to use the toilet, drinking from his bottle and eating in the kitchen.. to nw he noes how to tell u wat he wants, drinking from his bowl and eating wif us.. we din train him much tricks but he really understands us alot.. he noes wat to do and who to look for..he is really veri guai. my pa isn't a dog lover but thru these years he accepted cody and loves him alot...when we bring him out and put him in the car, he wun jump out, will sit and wait for you to come back.. he loves going out.. any traces tat we are going out, he will follow u tightly.. when we open the gate.. he will come back when we call him, he wun anyhow run.. he is such a lover boy.. he wun dirty the house even if his toilet is dirty.. he will tell you to clean it upand if hungry ask you for food.. he is a faithful lover.. cos since he come home he onli plays 1 toy.. onli 1 and nothing else..

Even if he smell food tat he love, he wun eat more than his own share.. BBq chicken wings, pan fried prawns, roasted duck, fried fish, papaya,carrot stick, pig liver& kidney, pork ribs...dried shrimps.. all his fav food...

there is sooo much memories of him to be said.. no mater how much tears fell from my eyes.. there is still tears flowing for him..

~Cody.. I will miz you 4ever, u will be my 1st and last ...~ I LOVE YOU!!

BAD week

tIS IS THE WORST WEEK I EVER HAD .... Nothing seems to be rite.. first I fell and injuried my left leg, then cody is sick, then i fell again and sprain my rite knee.. then my pa go for the second balloon and finally puting my precious cody to the hospital... Everything comes together in the same week... Its hard on my mom, having to take care 3 of us.. Thanks Mom.. she has been great...

I was on MC for two days.. cant move my knee.. so cannot walk.. its horrible, having to lie in bed the whole day and muz have all the things i wan around mi..cant go to the toilet on my own.. cant even get up from bed my own.. haiz.. its like bed ridden ... goodness.. even if i wan to sayang my cody oso cannot... Seeing him banging into things at home when he walk is really sad, he wants to be like the past but he cant.. he has difficulty eating, drinking water and even going to the toliet... its juz like human.. when suffer stroke.. juz tat he cant toke... so its tough seeing him like tat ..

I hope the worst is over ... its onli the beginning of the year.. better things will be coming our way...

Total Sadness

Juz received terribly news from mom.. my darling cody suffered a stroke suddenly.. we realise that he was walking sideways, limping so tot he hurt his leg.. and he was hiding alot the past few days.. which is not normal.. so brought him to the doc and came the shocking news.. i was heartbroken.. felt terrible.. din expect him to suffer tat.. he cannot recover and will walk like tat.. oh my god.. he totally change nw, no longer bark when we come back and when we touch him he will growl.. he is in pain, he is sooo moody and likes to hide.. believe tat he feels terrible too.. he can no longer do wat he likes jumping and running around the house, looking out of the car window.. standing on his hind legs, or go to the back yard n look out, he juz keep hinding under the sofa.. he keep knocking into things and falling down.. seeing him like tat is horrible ... sadness flood around the house.. even the look in his eyes is filled wif sadness.. whenever i think abt how he is suffering nw at home.. tears start to form and cleans my face...

it has never occur to mi tat my cody will one day suffer from tis.. he look sooo helpless.

Jie Fu house - 24/02/07

Today going to jie Fu house in JB.. we were planning to go er jie house first then go in for lunch then shopping at City Square ... we had Secret Recipe, then after lunch start our shopping spree.. it is huge.. we walked till i was sooo tired, din buy anything much. Got a top and some movies.. Sweetie got shoes, and clothes.. by the time i reach Jie Fu house, i was freaking tired.. could not move a single inch..

His sisters cook the dinner waiting for us to come back.. and da jie was soo angry with them cos they keep asking her for money for tis dinner.. we were sooo curious to noe wat a feast we are having ... we had duck, chicken, veg, prawns, soup and pork.. not much lar.. but still a feast lar.. haha .. then we watch movies and played Fireworks.. its beautiful.. and the best part i fell and hurt myself terribly haha ... din realise tat the abrasion was sooo serious.. haha .. tot nothing serious.. so nw having pig trotter.. swollen with bruise and abrasion.. haiz.. pain..

We started our return journey at 12 plus so by the time we got home is like 2 plus.. sooo super tired... still need to bathe and apply medicine.. haiz...

But it was fun.. the fireworks were veri veri nice... thanks Jie..

Chinese New Year Celebration

We started the day early.. cos daddy need to go pray in the morn but plans change so we were in the rush to bathe and get out of the house, need to go aunt house to pick up food for lunch.. i even leave the house without makeup.. haiz... haha ... went grandma house to doll up.. haha ... As usual lar, bai nian then eat lunch and titbits and gamble blackjack.. then go to the next house .. hahah ...

Little rachel is sick so they went off early, then we went to granduncle house for awhile then go kim keat.. ahah.. we were the first there..hmmm.. surprising even we were late... there was a miscommunication so ef family came at 2 plus .. super early.. hahah... but none of us was there..

Then we played mahjong.. and blackjack before dinner.. this year had dinner at uncle house cos usually we will be going for dinner with uncle winston n family... a veri "serious" dinner... haha.. halfway thru dinner, blackout.. total darkness.. Wow.. it has not happen before .. really romantic har ...

Was supposed to be going for movie, then tat stupid ah hui book tix at bedok princess 9.30 movie and make us rush all the way down.. n the seats were sooo hard and warm inside and there was no drinks holder.. sweetie drop the drink on the floor.. haha.. no used to an old cinema har... aiyo.. but the show was funnie.. the local show "Just follow law".. i think.. hahah..

THen after show we went for KTV and then send sweetie back to jurong before we got home.. to dreamland.. Tired.. another long day tomolo.. hehe..

2nd day was to uncle Leo house as usual... yearly routine.. haha ... got there then play blackjack and dinner and watch tv.. nothing special alr ... then went home..

HAs been visiting since day 1.. haven stayed home at all.. veri tired long holidays... but starting work on Mon lioa .. Haiz...

Reunion Dinner

Reunion dinner tis year is a little quiet cos my aunties can't make it onli left my uncle and another aunt.. so no need to prepare so much food.. haha .. but as usual lar Loh hei and steamboat lor (prawns, fish, vegs, pig liver, kidney, yong tou foo, mushrooms, scallops, squid, abalone, fishballs, crabmeat.. etc) the rest forget already.. hahah ... its a lot ended with fruits and jelly and snacks... hahah ... thats the begining of my CNY feast.. hahah... NO mahjong tis year cos no kakis so juz tv and chat.. we ended early cos grandma wanted to go home n prepare for next day lunch.. haha... tired nite..

Happy New Year to all.. Have a properous new year... Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!!!

My New Phone

Yah... finally decided what phone to get ~NOKIA 7390~.. wanted to change my old phone cos giving mi a little problem.. so was glancing thru the website and saw this phone.. and the colours is veri sweet.. beidge with pink.. wow... and i am already so used to a nokia phone, no intention to change brands.. haha ... so went down M1 to get my phone traded in juz before CNy.. haha ...

Valentine's Day

Its Valentine's Day Again... the day where roses cost super high, resturants packed with couples, shops filled with heart shapes and stuff with lots of hearts.. but its also the day tat is filled with love, sweetness and joy.. everywhere you go couples with flowers, gals are dress veri nicely, looking forward to their date wif Boyfriends and blah.. blah.. As usual no partner so i had dinner wif my sweetie..hehe... I was late as usual lar and she went and found mi a little present.. so i oso return the gift with a strawberry pouch and a pair of earrings.

We went back to our usual hunt and tried tis organic cafe which is pretty good.. the portion is juz nice and the price is reasonable.. the drinks had veri candid name such as flat stomach, slimming, beauty tea.. blah.. so weird ordering that.. haha .. I love the dinner, veri yummi.. and we sat there gossiping abt the couples walking by with flowers and werid partners.. hahah ... opps.. *bad*..

After dinner, we got Jen jie to come out for kopi.. so we went coffeebean waiting for her and yusof.. haha.. sit for a while to gossip and to dreamland we go.. lucky i not working for the next few days.. haha .. Shutdown for CNy lioa .. hahaha... yahoo...

Happy Valentine's Day... to all my dearest darlings

Scary...

On tue afternoon, my dad call and say he not feeling well, need to go c his doc.. so ma rushed down and picked him to the doc... and result was ... there is blockage again.. but dunno where.. Since his doc is not in town, he wan to wait for him to be back on thurs then advise him... so he got some emergency medicine and 2 day mc..

Next day, the moment he woke up.. he complain pain again.. so my ma got to rush him into hospital A & E.. actually wanted to send him down to SGH but too far so no choice. turn to CGH the nearest one... when reach, ma quickly took a wheelchair and push him in.. and they immediately did the scope and all the test on him lar .. and at abt 10 plus, the doc came and ask my dad to sign papers for immediate op. when my ma saw him, all was done and he was in ICU.. The news came.. it was 100% blockage in his artery.. WOW... tat is serious.. delay any longer, he may not be here anymore.. but thank god.. all is well nw..

He is too anxious and needs to relax cos he keep trying to pop his head to look out of the room.. i told him, " pa, need to tie ur head to the pillow har" so noti.. hehe... But i am sooo glad that he is fine nw.. resting in the hospital, sleeping and eating.. he needs to slow down his pace.. not more hectic work for him.. haha.. that will be tough .. wonder how long he can take it.. cos nw he already self declare discharge, onli after 3 days in there.. haha ...

He will has 1 month mc.. n i saw the guidelines and he will not be able to do anything for the next few weeks.. hehe... so i think he will have a hard time looking after cody and bringing him for walks.. hahahah...

Sick

Hiaz... The flu bug is after mi again... Out of a sudden, i had swollen tosils.. My throat hurts despite drinking soooo much Ang Mo Liang Teh... hehhe.. BEER.. Either its too much or not enough.. hehe...

The next ting i noe .. woke up wif a super pain throat, filled with flem.. hehe.. thick, gluey ones.. horrible... In the day u feel okie.. no pain or tireness.. but once night comes.. all start coming out, headaches, heat, running nose, cough, blah, blah, blah... all i was thinking was will i be on mc the next day.. haha ... But Wat a waste... woke up the next morn and all seems to have disappear.. heheh... Off to work i went.. haiz.. and the best part was.. my unvitied guest arrived again.. hmph... irriating .. hehe.. double dose of tireness.. flu, cough and got to entertain my aunty.. haiz..

Stages in life

Wah.. friends around you are dropping red bombs at ur door steps. I had one end of last year, 1 tis coming sat and another 1 at 10 feb..

Life is such tat there is 4 stages

1) When young, keep receiving birthday invitations till 21 years;

2) early 20s, start receiving wedding invitations;

3) Late 20s to early 30s, keep baby 1st month invitations;

4) the last will be getting news of friends passing on, and dunno when will it be your turn.

As you age, if lucky will get to pass all 4 stages and experience the growing up of friends and turning old with them. You will not know wat is in store for you till the end of the path, so life is always full of surprises rite

Winter

The winter tis yr is sooo much colder than last yr.. rainy days are getting longer and its always heavy downpour, causing lot of places to flood pretty bad.. esp Malaysia.. haha ... flood? water level almost as tall as the traffic lights? it going to take quite a long time for the water to go down i think.. The downpours are horrible- super heavy and veri sudden, dun give chance to take cover and u will be wet... haha ...

The wind yesterday was super strong, the trees are swaying vigorously. People carry unbrellas have a hard time holding on to it, i think if darling is walking on the road, she will have a hard time standing straight cos she is soooo light.. goodness...

Its soooo cold at nite tat no fan or air con is needed, i onli need my comforter.. wrapping mi from head to toe.. had hard time getting up every morn cos the sky is always so dark and cool.. tat it doesnt seem like morn.. hehe...

Nite in Paragon

hehe ... got out of the house and try to be sweet to grandma today, went to her plawce to bring her for 'Scholl' shopping, she needs a pair of new slippers. Got to her place and it was raining super heavily.. need to wait for the rain to stop before getting her out of the house... hahha .. so by the time we left her place its was already 5 plus and my ma wants to go eat .. so we decided to go metro at Paragon and went to Crystral Jade at the 5th floor.

The decor is veri cosy and posh... Dark drown and red.. veri classy too... heheh.. when we got in the place was quiet and super cold... was freezing inside.. need the hot tea..

Chinese New YEar is here ...

Wow... Time really files its seems like onli afew months back when i celebrated the CNY year of a dog, In another 1 month's time it will be the year of the PIG.. hahha . I guess tat will be everyone's favourite year.. heheh ... Its time tospring clean the house, shop for new clothes for the year and feast on goodies... yummi... Pineapple tarts, Bak Kwa, shrimp rolls, cuttlefish, sweets and chocolates... hmmm .. realise tat all the festives is about eating and feasting .... there will be 1 goodie for every festive... heheh ... Festives is the time to get FAT ... heheh ....

I had some shopping and din find any nice clothes... hmmm.. oh no wat should i wear tis year ... jeans, skirt, red top ?? hahah ....